Unplanned Breaks

One thing that happens (frequently) in my joyfully chaotic life is the unplanned break.

Unplanned breaks cause people with anxiety to struggle with their ability to cope. Children with Autism, ADHD, and anxiety struggle as well. Given my household, and my transparency about my life, the past 2 weeks have been…

Difficult.

However, there has also been a little bit of adventure in the past two weeks, as well. Since I last blogged I have seen a few things happen in my little family…

We caught one of our ninja mice. There is less noise inside the house at night. The beagle still roams the yards of our neighborhood, howling into all hours of the night and day. So, there is that noise that is still heard in the night.

Khaleesi has had some treatment for her ears, which have been keeping her up at night as well. She’s not whining and whimpering at 1am every night anymore. It’s more like… once every 3 nights.

I still don’t have a car. So that hasn’t changed just yet.

6 days ago, my children found a kitten. A KITTEN! In my house! Yes… she is still in my house. They have named her Zipper, and she’s a cute, little thing. She has a slight issue with her right eye, skin and bones when they brought her in, but with gifts from my grandmother and my sister, she is set for a while with food, litter and box, toys, and comfort. She is a shoulder sitter. Loves being carried around the house like some pampered baby. And, she is.

Blayze and Khaleesi are still adjusting to the new face, and Zipper has a little issue with hissing any time they are near. Can’t figure out why…

With the anxiety spiking like it has over the past 2 weeks, I have fallen behind on a few things. Falling behind frustrates me, and thus makes the anxiety issue even worse. Talk about a double whammy! Micah’s anxiety feeds off mine, and vice versa, and to say that tempers have flown the last 10 days is an understatement.

However, in the midst of the stress, frustrations, and setbacks, we have had our share of humor and belly laughs, as usual. My three musketeers never fail to make me laugh, even when I’m angry.

Today will be a good day. I still feel my heart beating in every limb, and I have struggled with sleeping through the night, every night, but today will be a good day. I am determined to come up off my bed, function, and succeed at whatever miniscule thing I possibly can! It will be a check off my list, and a win in my book! And maybe… get out of my house for a while, too.

All this rain and being stuck in my four walls have finally got to me. The sun is shining outside my window today. It looks… inviting. I think I shall accept that invitation, and take in my dose of that sunshine. 😊

Enjoy the little things. They become the big things when all you have are the memories.

#Hugs !

Day 7: The UGH Factor

One of the reasons I am pushing myself to do this daily blog challenge is screaming loud and clear at me this weekend! The “Ugh” factor! Those days when you feel like life is kicking you in the derriere and you run out of whatever fight you had all week long.

Parents look forward to Monday, simply because it means the kids go back to school (sorry Home-school parents), or they go back to work. Just the thought of closing the previous week AND weekend, and starting a new week over sounds amazing, and they are willing to put the kids to bed at 6pm Sunday night to get that much closer to Monday!

Oh… that was ME this weekend… oops. Haha. My bad.

Saturday night was fine. Totally fine! Levi’s best friend spent the night and the boys had a blast! When he left Sunday, I told all of the boys that they were free to do it again the following weekend if it was okay with his family. It was a good time!

Sunday was good as well. The boys had a blast in the warm weather, playing inside and outside, being boys! It was great! My grandmother told the kids to grab me up and tell me that she was serving everyone lunch at her house that afternoon, so I was able to take a break from my work and school assignment and enjoy a meal I hadn’t cooked for once. But, I did help her clean it all up. 😊

Enter Sunday night…

I HAD to get to the grocery store if it is the last thing I do on this earth! We were OUT of so many things I was out of options to make up for what we were out of! Kenny saw to it that I made it to the store with his car before he disappeared for 36 hours to save the world again. I am happy that happened! My kids got food (some of which they inhaled hours after it showed up on the pantry shelf), I got food, and everyone was able to function for at least one, full day.

Bedtime:

Micah struggled. He struggled some during the day, too. He was feeling off his normal balance emotionally, and we had to handle accordingly. His day was a little roller coaster ride, to say the least. He didn’t get to sleep as well as I had hoped he would, and I was afraid that Monday was going to be BAD! But Monday is another blog post. 😉

So, in all the stress and tension, I found some joy in the little things such as a bag of chips (yes, chips!), a soda (again… yep!), and the sweet memories of my children and I sitting around my grandparent’s table for lunch Sunday afternoon. Grandma made her SPECIAL recipe, Tamale Pie, and it was an epic hit with all my boys! They called it Chili Pie, and literally asked for THIRD helpings! The joys of the little things. My boys had conversations with the grandparents, and my grandpa laughed so hard, a few times, I thought he was going to fall out of his chair! Those moments… those are the moments I live for.

At the end of the day the boys and I had full bellies, and were settled in our beds, ready to officially close this week’s chapter of our lives. More than ready!

Here’s to hoping that Monday will be… not so Monday! Yeah… in my joyfully, chaotic life, we KNOW different, don’t we?! Just buckle up, and get ready for the Monday blog! *sleepy, silly grin*

#Hugs !

Day 6: Frustrations and Blessings

My Joyfully Chaotic Life Day 6

A weekend that has been anticipated for months was a slight disappointment. Not because we failed us, but because things happen that are beyond our control from time to time, and we have to deal with those situations as they come.

The Encampment was held this weekend, at Fort Massac State Park in Metropolis. The boys made it Friday, for Educational Day, but we did not make it for the rest of the weekend; Saturday or Sunday. 

But, Saturday is the day we are talking about…

Did I get much done? Not really. I spent parts of my day looking for a way to get into town, so my boys and I could enjoy the encampment. I will admit, I didn’t look as dedicatedly as I could have, but I did try.

Levi had his best friend’s birthday party to go to at 3pm, and I was trying to find him a ride. Not having a car has been stressful before, but these past two weeks have been horrible!! I won’t lie! Schedule conflicts, no transportation, and stress are never a good mix. Ever.

Micah has Dr appointments, therapy, I have therapy, they have school, I need to do grocery and necessity shopping, and there’s just so much that requires a functioning car… something I do not have at this time. I have spent a lot of time, every day, looking out my window at the Denali sitting in my driveway, and try to wish it functional again so I can go places and do the things I need to do. 

Instead, I make phone calls and reschedule, cancel, and change plans.

Am I complaining? Not really. This is not a rant. I’m about to switch gears, here.

While I look out my window, I see my grandmother’s house next door. Their yard. Their space. And, I turn around and look at mine. And I am thankful. I live in the country. I have space and peace for myself and my boys, and my grandparents are the ones who made this possible for me. I am truly thankful. If we ever need anything, they come to assist. I wouldn’t trade where I am, right now, for anything else in the world. For so many reasons!

Yes, not having a car sucks. It really does. But! It’s not the worst thing in the world. My kids ride the bus to school and back. I’m not THAT far from civilization that I cannot get some things I need. And, my grandmother is always surprising us with snacks, drinks, and invites to their house for lunch or dinner on random days.

I’m not too bummed about missing the encampment. Yes, it’s a fun event, but it’s crowded. The past 3 years that I have gone, I have struggled to breathe and not lose my ability to function. Anxiety is a monster that cannot be seen until it’s too late to control the episode. So, in all honesty, missing the most humanly populated event of the year wasn’t really, that disappointing for me.

Kenny promised the kids a make-up adventure to replace the fun THEY missed from encampment. They’re excited about the coming surprise! And with Kenny… the biggest boy in the bunch, I’m sure it will be a boy’s adventure! And THAT I don’t mind one bit. It makes for some entertaining videos along the way! Hah!

But I shall leave you with this, and always, to enjoy the little things. Because those little things compile into a LARGE amount of peace, sanity, and blessings!

#Hugs !

Mom Blurbs Day 5

Day 5: Down Days

Not much joyful chaos today. I don’t mind. Slow days are good, even when they aren’t really good days.

So, today wasn’t very eventful. I spent most of the day in my bed, doing school work, and doing some laundry here and there as well. I didn’t get much done in the house otherwise, and honestly, today, I don’t really care.

This is one of the “down days” of anxiety disorder. My stress is high, my motivation is low. It happens now and then, and some days are harder to deal with than others. Today wasn’t so bad. I had plenty of school work to get done, so staying in my bed, zero energy, leg and back pain, and pure exhaustion weren’t too hard to deal with today.

The class that I am currently taking is Object Oriented Programming, and so far, it’s fun! I enjoy programming and the mental capacity that it takes to perform the tasks. It’s a challenge for me, and I enjoy a good challenge.

Today, the kids went to Fort Massac State Park in Metropolis and enjoyed the educational day at the Encampment. The Encampment is a French and Indian War reenactment at our local State Park. All the area schools take classes there for a field trip. The kids get to watch “Mother Goose” tell stories, enjoy the magician and juggler, and make some small purchases from the vendor stands that are scattered throughout the park.

Tomorrow, the real encampment events begin. I plan to take the boys and enjoy a day at the park, but I’m a little concerned because of my anxiety day today. It could go well, or it could be a total disaster. 

I hope for the best…

The boys are completely worn out tonight. Everyone is already asleep, and I am thinking I may close my computer and do the same. A day at the park, with all their friends, did them some good!

I’m gonna cross my fingers that I get to do some grocery shopping tomorrow as well. Mama need some food, baby!! 😊

Even on the down days, find something to smile about… even if it is just a picture, a short video on Facebook, or watching your kids do something silly at the end of the day. And enjoy the little things!

Mom Blurbs Day 4

Day 4: When plans change…

If there is one thing I have gotten used to, in my joyfully chaotic life, it’s that plans do not always go as we intend them to. Several years ago, I started calling it, “rolling with the punches.” And, I still do that very thing.

This morning, getting the kids up and off to school wasn’t as bad as yesterday. Yes, we had some morning struggles. Nobody missed their ride, though, and that was a WIN for me this week!

I ran some errands with Kenny, and then spent the afternoon doing laundry, dishes, and some cleaning while he was gone, with the rest of the fire department, to a couple fire calls.

We've been making a few attempts to have dinner with Kenny's family this past week, and every attempt has been met with some sort of change of plans. It's all good, though, and we are "rolling with those punches." It'll happen, and that alone is enough to make me happy.

This evening was a quick meal event. Chicken and cheese taquitos with some chips on the side. I spent most of the afternoon and evening catching up on my favorite TV shows, that I’ve missed episodes on over the past two weeks. Criminal Minds, NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, NCIS: New Orleans, SWAT, SVU, Blue Bloods, and the Chicago series (Fire, PD, Med).

Mom felt lazy today. But I still got a lot done for someone who was wiped!

I will still have dishes to do tomorrow. Having no dishwasher kinda sucks. Only my two hands. Yes, I understand that I have three boys who could help with the dishes, and they DO try… I’m just extremely OCD about my dishes, and I have to walk away when they do them, so they don’t have me leaning over them saying, “No. Not that way. You’re going to miss a spot. Why are you using that amount of soap? No, no, no, no… here. Let me show you.”

Titus and Levi enjoy helping with the laundry, though. That’s a good thing! They are learning some basic life skills here and there. 😊

Other than the loud, boisterous shouting of the children as they play, the house has been relatively quiet this week. We have had our TV’s off for a bit, and the peace is lovely!

They go to bed every night, listening to Adventures in Odyssey, an old radio program I listened to as a child. My mom bought EVERY ALBUM that series has, and we are borrowing their old cassettes a few volumes at a time. Watching my kids attempt to use a cassette player for the first time was probably my most entertaining moment of the month! They were so THRILLED to be able to make it work! I still giggle every time I think about it.

The first tape that unraveled on them was EPIC! Levi came to me in a panic, saying he thinks he broke the tape! I found an old BIC pen, told him to sit beside me, and I would show him a trick. I began to reel it back in, and the look of amazement on his face was glorious! He was in awe! I was holding in my laughter as hard as I could until he walked away. I love my boys!

With that being said, I shall leave you with this. Turn off those TV’s. Read a book. Find an old radio program to listen to at night. It does wonders for the true imagination of the children. No screen before their eyes. No white noise. Pure and simple imagination and brain work. Love the little things, while we still have time to do it as a family. And when plans change, make the best of it! Even if you don't like the turn of events, children adjust well to plan changes, and if Mom makes the best of it, they will too. 

#hugs to you all! I shall see you tomorrow for another edition of my joyfully chaotic life!

Mom Blurbs Day 3

Day 3: MICE!

Greetings on day three from my joyfully chaotic life!

Yesterday was a good day. I got a lot of things done, finally! Laundry is continued, the breezeway and garage are BOTH cleaned and smell normal again, and my living room, dining room, and kitchen are all looking and smelling normal again as well.

However…

There are mice in my house… … …

We have counted two, so far. They hang together, run together, and completely outsmart ALL of my traps together! We have used sticky traps, snap traps, you name it, you name the bait, we have used them all! I’ve tested the sensitivity of the traps, and the stickiness of the glue traps, and they are all, quite capable of trapping these little, squeaky ninjas! But, ninjas they are! Bait has been eaten off the traps, and the traps have never gone off. The glue traps have been MOVED by the creatures, and still no mice caught on them! How?!

Now, I am aware that my county is popular for field mice, in and around people’s houses. But, I draw the line when they are just scampering around my home, no fear of being seen or almost stepped on, and just do their thing like this is their house, and not mine!

I will win, little mice… I. Will. Win.

On another note, Micah is going back to school full days again, as of yesterday. He’s not happy about the arrangement, but it is time to get him into the routine and see how it goes. He still has to see a Psychiatrist, but we are waiting on that referral to go through. So far, mornings are the greatest struggle. As the day continues, Micah improves. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we start having better mornings soon. Day 3 was rough. He missed the bus and was late to school. He threw a little fit about going, and again after he arrived at the school, but the day got a little better as it went on. I get emails from his teacher frequently, and she’s great about keeping in touch about his progress.

I will admit to my bad mom days, though. I’m supposed to keep up with all his work he missed during his half-day routine, and I let it slip a little too often. Given the level of stress, anxiety, and “headless chicken” running I do, it’s understandable. But, I’m making strides to be better at keeping up with his work. Baby steps…

As of the rest of the clan, Titus enjoyed a GIANT bowl of cereal for a pre-supper snack, Levi went frog hunting and brought a new friend into the house to meet everyone, and everyone has had a complete supper every night this week, full, main course with at least 2 sides. Booyah!

As for myself… I am off to catch some mice… or try to at least.

Remember, enjoy the little things.

Mom Blurbs Day 2

My Joyfully Chaotic Life Day 2: Who let the dogs out?!

So, my little, country house has a closed-in porch (breezeway). I have yet to secure a trash company to take my trash every week, so I put the bags out there now and then until I can dispose of them properly. The other day the door to the outside was left open…

I have 2 German Shepherds, and a stray beagle who decided to make my house his new home. Between the three canine companions of my family, the beagle is the chew-happy creature! And when I say “Chew Happy” I mean we find items of EVERY kind all over my yard, my grandparent’s yard (they live next door), and into the dirt road in front of our houses. Clothes, toys, trash, food, pieces of outdoor equipment, pillows, blankets, shoes, dishes, yard tools, you name it and it’s been dragged from the garage or porch to kingdom come!

Back to the present day:

I opened my back door to the breezeway, yesterday, and was smacked in the face by a wall of STINK!! Now, allow me to say this first, I had a rough morning yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night to a barfing child. I sent one to school who was sick and never bothered to tell me until he got home yesterday afternoon. Somehow, I slept through that one. I was up all morning, sanitizing, cleaning, scrubbing, and burning all my sinus cavities with bleach, Lysol, and Pine Sol chemicals! 

When I opened that door, I realized quickly that my nose still worked… as well as my gag reflex!

My washer and dryer are in that breezeway. I had blankets and towels affected by the sickness that needed to be washed. Before the dogs got into the breezeway I had started the first load of blankets. I opened that door to change the laundry, stink wall smacks me, I jump back and slam the door shut, reach for my Scentsy Room Spray, and (even though it is recommended one spritz per room) began to spray that thing like a madwoman. I was a mad woman! I was spraying and shouting, “For. The. Love. Of. All. That. Is. Holy! What in HADES was THAT?!”

Now, for those who know me, I am sure you can already visualize Becca jumping around like she had been stung by a bee, spraying this little bottle of vanilla spray all over like it was wasp spray going for the yellow jacket in the air. After it was over, I saw it in my mind and giggled.

Good news, though. I didn’t throw up! Yay me! I did my stink dance, got the dogs into their kennels, and continued my angry cleaning mode.

Today:

These 4-legged monsters of mine have tested and tried the patience of Becca to the very limit I have! They barked and played LOUDLY all night. I let them outside to burn some of their energy twice in the night, and again as soon as the kids got on their buses this morning to go to school. They’ve spent more time outdoors in the past 24 hours than I have ever made them go before.

Am I mad? Nah… Mama just be tired. I didn’t have the energy to argue with dogs about who went were, and they all ended up in the same kennel together multiple times today. Hey, that’s what they wanted, so that’s what they got today. It’s a large kennel, QUITE large, in fact. But, I swear… if I have to hear the song of the canine tonight as I did last night, there will be 3 pups who find themselves in a brand-new doghouse BEHIND my house come this time tomorrow! I will go get a shed, some fencing, and create a happy home for the three of them to enjoy, outside of my earshot! Haha!

On a positive note, the 2-legged children are all healthy and happy today. They slept well last night. Everyone had a decent day at school today. They enjoyed supper this evening (chicken soup- day 2). And I get to spend my evening folding these 6 baskets of laundry before the bedtime battle begins tonight.

Oh, and thanks to the care and assistance of an amazing person, my breezeway will also be cleaned tonight, and I’ll be able to return to my laundry that has yet to be completed.

Celebrate the little things! #Hugs

Mom Blurbs Day One

The ramblings of a single mom, living with anxiety, raising 3 boys. 2 of them on the spectrum. Together we are on an adventure of a lifetime, that will last a lifetime. Welcome to my Joyfully Chaotic Life!

Oh, for the glorious season of Autumn! The changing of the leaves, the brisk, cool air, the wind, bonfires, fall festivals, school parties…. And the season of Clorox and Lysol!

It would seem that, when you gather a room full of healthy children for school, germs spontaneously erupt, and everyone and their mother (literally) gets a virus before October! In my house, the bugs thus far have been strep, mono, belly bug, respiratory infection, ear infection, and a SERIOUS case of “mama be tired!”

Today alone I have disinfected most of my house, scrubbed furniture, washed loads of clothes and blankets, and made chicken soup! The meal will be refreshing to the sick and afflicted, and I’m going to enjoy warming my hands with the steaming bowl of homemade soup. This mama is tired.

Parenting three boys from ages 7 to 13 is interesting enough on its own. Bring some sickness into the mix, and we find out really quick who is going to grow up and give a spouse some grief with “man flu” issues! (I pity the poor, future victims)

Let tomorrow bring with it; health, happiness, peace, and better smelling rooms in my home!

Goodnight World… and remember to enjoy the little things! #hugs

When It Storms

There is something to be said about a good, strong thunderstorm. I love them! For me, the storm gives me peace. I feel comforted by Mother Nature when the wind picks up and the rain starts to make its way across the field to my yard. I love watching it, anticipating the first drops before they fall on my upturned face. The wind embraces me, sometimes gently and comforting, and sometimes with a strength I needed but couldn’t pick up on my own. The flash of the lightning sparks an energy in my soul. The thunder soothes my spirit when it rolls in the distance, and it excites my spirit when it cracks, loud and strong, just over head.

The storms in our lives do not bring peace. Our life storms sometimes come at us with a vengeance, raging in fast and suddenly, leaving us broken and desolate when they are finished. Sometimes they come in gradually, giving us fair warning before drowning us in the flood and leaving us heavy with the weight of the heavy rains.

This year, in the month of June, we had so many storms. Beautiful storms! High winds, some hail, thunder that shook the very soul, lightning that lit up the sky as far as the eye could see, and sheets of rain flowing like waves across the fields. They soothed my soul. The trees did a dance, taking on a life of their own under the music of the strong winds. The rain was like a song, comforting and calming. They were perfect storms. Little did I know they would have to hold me over for my own storms that would come the following month.

July was the month of my personal storms. It was also the month when very few natural storms came to comfort me. But, they did come at the right times, thankfully.

Some storms came in gradually, tormenting me with their approach. I felt helpless to get out of the way, and they poured on me sickness, sorrow, disappointment, pain, and rage. Others hit me suddenly and without warning, like a tornado dropping from a clear sky, rocking my world and leaving me completely destroyed inside.

Yes, storms are beautiful. They clear away things that are cluttering our lives, and they cleanse us with the floods, so we can emerge from them and rise as a new person. But, they are a beautiful disaster. They are not meant to be gentle. They hurt. They break away the things that we have carried for too long, and they blow us over, knocking us down to crack open the hard shell we didn’t even know was covering our soul gradually, over time. It hurts. It really hurts to be put through a storm. Sometimes storms blow away friends and people in our lives whom we believed were going to stand by us in even the strongest winds.

Storms don’t define us. They refine us. Storms are going to come. There is no way to stop them. It is what we do with ourselves when the storm comes, and when it passes, that defines us. Some storms will break us. I have often thought I would never repair myself from the damage of a life-storm. But the beauty in the disaster is when we allow the storm to blow away the rubble, wash away the dirt and grime, and stand firm, cleansed and free. Raise your hands and face to welcome the rain. Open your arms for the embrace of the wind. Let the thunder shake off the crud from your heart and soul. Bask in the energy of the lightning. And, when the storm is over, breathe in the fresh air. If you were knocked over, stand up. If you were still standing, take your first step. Be it good, or bad, there is just something about a storm.

Now, the next storm that Mother Nature brings your way, take some pictures, record some video, and feel the cleanse that the earth is receiving. And when you have a life-storm come, you can look at those memories of nature’s finest and hold on, because you will be as the earth when it passes. Cleansed, refreshed, and more beautiful than ever.

I Love My Children

I just want you all to know, I love my children. I do love them, so much…

One of my favorite things to hear out of the mouths of my children is, “Oh, Mom!” There is just something about their tone and half-smile, with the annoyed look in their eyes, that just gets me right in the heart, with joy! I beat them at their own game, usually a game of wits, and they can’t deal. But, they continue to try. Ha!

Now, this is a form of a “Mother’s Day” post, as I said I would provide, but I wanted it to be about the reason I celebrate this day.

I love my children…

Levi, my 10-year-old son, has some of the most hilarious one-liners I have ever heard! We recently changed primary care physicians, and our new doctor loves to tell jokes as well. In the 2 months that we have seen him, Levi has sprained his finger, had an allergy attack, and tried to go a third time for another reason, and was sad to learn it wasn’t bad enough to see the doctor. I told him it would be a bad idea to break a bone, because that would land him in the ER where he wouldn’t see HIS doctor, but an ER doctor instead. So, he looks at me, without missing a beat and says, “I don’t feel so good. I think I have a fever *cough, cough*.” Really, son? Really?! (sigh) I don’t call him my “carbon copy” for nothing.

I do love my children…

My 12-year-old, Titus, is 5ft6.5in. He has RED hair, and delightful freckles all over his face. His smile is so sweet. Do not be fooled by this (not so) little sweetheart, though, because he has a trickster side that will come out of nowhere and catch you off guard. His usual victims are his brothers, after which they will come running to me playing the unfortunate victim. Then, when I go see what was up, Titus will look at me and say, “Oh, I just did that, so you would come outside to see what I made.” And proceed to show me some creation of his, made from scraps of something else he tore apart. I’m just thankful he hasn’t tried breaking down my walls when I’m not looking, to create a droid or some other robotic thing he enjoys.

Again, I love my children…

Micah, my youngest, is 7 years old. I call him my animal. He can climb anything! He does this thing, he calls a swan dive… and yes, he does it well! He gets a running start, jumps up, and soars forward until he face-plants into the dirt below. Arms stretched out, over his head, he looks like a curly-headed Superman flying 2ft off the ground until he lands with a thud, rolls over, and runs back the other direction to do it again. This is a daily event. What shocks me the most is, of my three sons, he is the only one I have not gone to the ER with for an INJURY yet! Oh, I know the day is coming, though. I have prepared myself emotionally, and mentally, for the day to arrive.

Oh, how I love my children…

Every day is such a joy, and a functional disaster, in my house. Between the break-dancing (Levi) Human Crash Dummy (Micah) and the genius of all things electronic and construction (Titus), we have unending adventures. No, really… like we can’t even move on to the next chapter of an adventure. It MUST stay on this on! Ha, ha!

From the “Bad Dad” jokes, to the pranks, the knock-knock jokes that make NO sense, my three musketeers keep my brain in constant working order. Speaking of the knock-knock jokes, Micah told one the other day that I couldn’t help but laugh at. Let’s see if I can get it like he did…

Micah: Hey mom. Knock, knock.

Me: (kind of distracted) Uhm, who’s there?

Micah: SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS!

And… that was it. Now, if anyone knows my child, they can read this in his dramatic tone of voice. He kind of sounds like the dude announcing the fighters in the ring on a fight night. When he finished on that note, I sat there for a second, silently, and I could feel the physical signs of uncontrollable laughter starting to work its way from my feet to my mouth. He just KNEW he told a good one, and the look on his face, through is little coke-bottle glasses, the pure joy and humor in his eyes, matching the cheeky grin on his face as he looked at me expectantly, I couldn’t stand it. I laughed until it hurt. Not to make him feel better about a half-done joke, but because the whole thing was PRICELESS! It couldn’t have been a better told joke by either of his brothers.

These three are the reasons I celebrate as a mother on Mother’s Day. They have made me what I am, in so many ways. I look at them and see a little of me in each of them every day. I see the softer, sensitive side of myself in Titus. His genuine concern for others touches my heart. I see the quirky, humorous side of me in Levi, with the jokes, silly humor, and witty come-backs. I see my wild side in Micah; the pure enjoyment of life, and the fun that can be found around every corner. I just wish he had a little more caution than he does. I fear for my health with that one…

These three are as different as night, day, and some other universe as well! It’s just me and them. They do not have a male influence in their lives, only me. We battle the day, and enjoy the world, together. And without them, I would be… lost.

I do… love my children. <3