Day 6: Frustrations and Blessings

My Joyfully Chaotic Life Day 6

A weekend that has been anticipated for months was a slight disappointment. Not because we failed us, but because things happen that are beyond our control from time to time, and we have to deal with those situations as they come.

The Encampment was held this weekend, at Fort Massac State Park in Metropolis. The boys made it Friday, for Educational Day, but we did not make it for the rest of the weekend; Saturday or Sunday. 

But, Saturday is the day we are talking about…

Did I get much done? Not really. I spent parts of my day looking for a way to get into town, so my boys and I could enjoy the encampment. I will admit, I didn’t look as dedicatedly as I could have, but I did try.

Levi had his best friend’s birthday party to go to at 3pm, and I was trying to find him a ride. Not having a car has been stressful before, but these past two weeks have been horrible!! I won’t lie! Schedule conflicts, no transportation, and stress are never a good mix. Ever.

Micah has Dr appointments, therapy, I have therapy, they have school, I need to do grocery and necessity shopping, and there’s just so much that requires a functioning car… something I do not have at this time. I have spent a lot of time, every day, looking out my window at the Denali sitting in my driveway, and try to wish it functional again so I can go places and do the things I need to do. 

Instead, I make phone calls and reschedule, cancel, and change plans.

Am I complaining? Not really. This is not a rant. I’m about to switch gears, here.

While I look out my window, I see my grandmother’s house next door. Their yard. Their space. And, I turn around and look at mine. And I am thankful. I live in the country. I have space and peace for myself and my boys, and my grandparents are the ones who made this possible for me. I am truly thankful. If we ever need anything, they come to assist. I wouldn’t trade where I am, right now, for anything else in the world. For so many reasons!

Yes, not having a car sucks. It really does. But! It’s not the worst thing in the world. My kids ride the bus to school and back. I’m not THAT far from civilization that I cannot get some things I need. And, my grandmother is always surprising us with snacks, drinks, and invites to their house for lunch or dinner on random days.

I’m not too bummed about missing the encampment. Yes, it’s a fun event, but it’s crowded. The past 3 years that I have gone, I have struggled to breathe and not lose my ability to function. Anxiety is a monster that cannot be seen until it’s too late to control the episode. So, in all honesty, missing the most humanly populated event of the year wasn’t really, that disappointing for me.

Kenny promised the kids a make-up adventure to replace the fun THEY missed from encampment. They’re excited about the coming surprise! And with Kenny… the biggest boy in the bunch, I’m sure it will be a boy’s adventure! And THAT I don’t mind one bit. It makes for some entertaining videos along the way! Hah!

But I shall leave you with this, and always, to enjoy the little things. Because those little things compile into a LARGE amount of peace, sanity, and blessings!

#Hugs !

Mom Blurbs Day 5

Day 5: Down Days

Not much joyful chaos today. I don’t mind. Slow days are good, even when they aren’t really good days.

So, today wasn’t very eventful. I spent most of the day in my bed, doing school work, and doing some laundry here and there as well. I didn’t get much done in the house otherwise, and honestly, today, I don’t really care.

This is one of the “down days” of anxiety disorder. My stress is high, my motivation is low. It happens now and then, and some days are harder to deal with than others. Today wasn’t so bad. I had plenty of school work to get done, so staying in my bed, zero energy, leg and back pain, and pure exhaustion weren’t too hard to deal with today.

The class that I am currently taking is Object Oriented Programming, and so far, it’s fun! I enjoy programming and the mental capacity that it takes to perform the tasks. It’s a challenge for me, and I enjoy a good challenge.

Today, the kids went to Fort Massac State Park in Metropolis and enjoyed the educational day at the Encampment. The Encampment is a French and Indian War reenactment at our local State Park. All the area schools take classes there for a field trip. The kids get to watch “Mother Goose” tell stories, enjoy the magician and juggler, and make some small purchases from the vendor stands that are scattered throughout the park.

Tomorrow, the real encampment events begin. I plan to take the boys and enjoy a day at the park, but I’m a little concerned because of my anxiety day today. It could go well, or it could be a total disaster. 

I hope for the best…

The boys are completely worn out tonight. Everyone is already asleep, and I am thinking I may close my computer and do the same. A day at the park, with all their friends, did them some good!

I’m gonna cross my fingers that I get to do some grocery shopping tomorrow as well. Mama need some food, baby!! 😊

Even on the down days, find something to smile about… even if it is just a picture, a short video on Facebook, or watching your kids do something silly at the end of the day. And enjoy the little things!

Mom Blurbs Day 4

Day 4: When plans change…

If there is one thing I have gotten used to, in my joyfully chaotic life, it’s that plans do not always go as we intend them to. Several years ago, I started calling it, “rolling with the punches.” And, I still do that very thing.

This morning, getting the kids up and off to school wasn’t as bad as yesterday. Yes, we had some morning struggles. Nobody missed their ride, though, and that was a WIN for me this week!

I ran some errands with Kenny, and then spent the afternoon doing laundry, dishes, and some cleaning while he was gone, with the rest of the fire department, to a couple fire calls.

We've been making a few attempts to have dinner with Kenny's family this past week, and every attempt has been met with some sort of change of plans. It's all good, though, and we are "rolling with those punches." It'll happen, and that alone is enough to make me happy.

This evening was a quick meal event. Chicken and cheese taquitos with some chips on the side. I spent most of the afternoon and evening catching up on my favorite TV shows, that I’ve missed episodes on over the past two weeks. Criminal Minds, NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, NCIS: New Orleans, SWAT, SVU, Blue Bloods, and the Chicago series (Fire, PD, Med).

Mom felt lazy today. But I still got a lot done for someone who was wiped!

I will still have dishes to do tomorrow. Having no dishwasher kinda sucks. Only my two hands. Yes, I understand that I have three boys who could help with the dishes, and they DO try… I’m just extremely OCD about my dishes, and I have to walk away when they do them, so they don’t have me leaning over them saying, “No. Not that way. You’re going to miss a spot. Why are you using that amount of soap? No, no, no, no… here. Let me show you.”

Titus and Levi enjoy helping with the laundry, though. That’s a good thing! They are learning some basic life skills here and there. 😊

Other than the loud, boisterous shouting of the children as they play, the house has been relatively quiet this week. We have had our TV’s off for a bit, and the peace is lovely!

They go to bed every night, listening to Adventures in Odyssey, an old radio program I listened to as a child. My mom bought EVERY ALBUM that series has, and we are borrowing their old cassettes a few volumes at a time. Watching my kids attempt to use a cassette player for the first time was probably my most entertaining moment of the month! They were so THRILLED to be able to make it work! I still giggle every time I think about it.

The first tape that unraveled on them was EPIC! Levi came to me in a panic, saying he thinks he broke the tape! I found an old BIC pen, told him to sit beside me, and I would show him a trick. I began to reel it back in, and the look of amazement on his face was glorious! He was in awe! I was holding in my laughter as hard as I could until he walked away. I love my boys!

With that being said, I shall leave you with this. Turn off those TV’s. Read a book. Find an old radio program to listen to at night. It does wonders for the true imagination of the children. No screen before their eyes. No white noise. Pure and simple imagination and brain work. Love the little things, while we still have time to do it as a family. And when plans change, make the best of it! Even if you don't like the turn of events, children adjust well to plan changes, and if Mom makes the best of it, they will too. 

#hugs to you all! I shall see you tomorrow for another edition of my joyfully chaotic life!

Mom Blurbs Day 3

Day 3: MICE!

Greetings on day three from my joyfully chaotic life!

Yesterday was a good day. I got a lot of things done, finally! Laundry is continued, the breezeway and garage are BOTH cleaned and smell normal again, and my living room, dining room, and kitchen are all looking and smelling normal again as well.

However…

There are mice in my house… … …

We have counted two, so far. They hang together, run together, and completely outsmart ALL of my traps together! We have used sticky traps, snap traps, you name it, you name the bait, we have used them all! I’ve tested the sensitivity of the traps, and the stickiness of the glue traps, and they are all, quite capable of trapping these little, squeaky ninjas! But, ninjas they are! Bait has been eaten off the traps, and the traps have never gone off. The glue traps have been MOVED by the creatures, and still no mice caught on them! How?!

Now, I am aware that my county is popular for field mice, in and around people’s houses. But, I draw the line when they are just scampering around my home, no fear of being seen or almost stepped on, and just do their thing like this is their house, and not mine!

I will win, little mice… I. Will. Win.

On another note, Micah is going back to school full days again, as of yesterday. He’s not happy about the arrangement, but it is time to get him into the routine and see how it goes. He still has to see a Psychiatrist, but we are waiting on that referral to go through. So far, mornings are the greatest struggle. As the day continues, Micah improves. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we start having better mornings soon. Day 3 was rough. He missed the bus and was late to school. He threw a little fit about going, and again after he arrived at the school, but the day got a little better as it went on. I get emails from his teacher frequently, and she’s great about keeping in touch about his progress.

I will admit to my bad mom days, though. I’m supposed to keep up with all his work he missed during his half-day routine, and I let it slip a little too often. Given the level of stress, anxiety, and “headless chicken” running I do, it’s understandable. But, I’m making strides to be better at keeping up with his work. Baby steps…

As of the rest of the clan, Titus enjoyed a GIANT bowl of cereal for a pre-supper snack, Levi went frog hunting and brought a new friend into the house to meet everyone, and everyone has had a complete supper every night this week, full, main course with at least 2 sides. Booyah!

As for myself… I am off to catch some mice… or try to at least.

Remember, enjoy the little things.

Mom Blurbs Day 2

My Joyfully Chaotic Life Day 2: Who let the dogs out?!

So, my little, country house has a closed-in porch (breezeway). I have yet to secure a trash company to take my trash every week, so I put the bags out there now and then until I can dispose of them properly. The other day the door to the outside was left open…

I have 2 German Shepherds, and a stray beagle who decided to make my house his new home. Between the three canine companions of my family, the beagle is the chew-happy creature! And when I say “Chew Happy” I mean we find items of EVERY kind all over my yard, my grandparent’s yard (they live next door), and into the dirt road in front of our houses. Clothes, toys, trash, food, pieces of outdoor equipment, pillows, blankets, shoes, dishes, yard tools, you name it and it’s been dragged from the garage or porch to kingdom come!

Back to the present day:

I opened my back door to the breezeway, yesterday, and was smacked in the face by a wall of STINK!! Now, allow me to say this first, I had a rough morning yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night to a barfing child. I sent one to school who was sick and never bothered to tell me until he got home yesterday afternoon. Somehow, I slept through that one. I was up all morning, sanitizing, cleaning, scrubbing, and burning all my sinus cavities with bleach, Lysol, and Pine Sol chemicals! 

When I opened that door, I realized quickly that my nose still worked… as well as my gag reflex!

My washer and dryer are in that breezeway. I had blankets and towels affected by the sickness that needed to be washed. Before the dogs got into the breezeway I had started the first load of blankets. I opened that door to change the laundry, stink wall smacks me, I jump back and slam the door shut, reach for my Scentsy Room Spray, and (even though it is recommended one spritz per room) began to spray that thing like a madwoman. I was a mad woman! I was spraying and shouting, “For. The. Love. Of. All. That. Is. Holy! What in HADES was THAT?!”

Now, for those who know me, I am sure you can already visualize Becca jumping around like she had been stung by a bee, spraying this little bottle of vanilla spray all over like it was wasp spray going for the yellow jacket in the air. After it was over, I saw it in my mind and giggled.

Good news, though. I didn’t throw up! Yay me! I did my stink dance, got the dogs into their kennels, and continued my angry cleaning mode.

Today:

These 4-legged monsters of mine have tested and tried the patience of Becca to the very limit I have! They barked and played LOUDLY all night. I let them outside to burn some of their energy twice in the night, and again as soon as the kids got on their buses this morning to go to school. They’ve spent more time outdoors in the past 24 hours than I have ever made them go before.

Am I mad? Nah… Mama just be tired. I didn’t have the energy to argue with dogs about who went were, and they all ended up in the same kennel together multiple times today. Hey, that’s what they wanted, so that’s what they got today. It’s a large kennel, QUITE large, in fact. But, I swear… if I have to hear the song of the canine tonight as I did last night, there will be 3 pups who find themselves in a brand-new doghouse BEHIND my house come this time tomorrow! I will go get a shed, some fencing, and create a happy home for the three of them to enjoy, outside of my earshot! Haha!

On a positive note, the 2-legged children are all healthy and happy today. They slept well last night. Everyone had a decent day at school today. They enjoyed supper this evening (chicken soup- day 2). And I get to spend my evening folding these 6 baskets of laundry before the bedtime battle begins tonight.

Oh, and thanks to the care and assistance of an amazing person, my breezeway will also be cleaned tonight, and I’ll be able to return to my laundry that has yet to be completed.

Celebrate the little things! #Hugs

Mom Blurbs Day One

The ramblings of a single mom, living with anxiety, raising 3 boys. 2 of them on the spectrum. Together we are on an adventure of a lifetime, that will last a lifetime. Welcome to my Joyfully Chaotic Life!

Oh, for the glorious season of Autumn! The changing of the leaves, the brisk, cool air, the wind, bonfires, fall festivals, school parties…. And the season of Clorox and Lysol!

It would seem that, when you gather a room full of healthy children for school, germs spontaneously erupt, and everyone and their mother (literally) gets a virus before October! In my house, the bugs thus far have been strep, mono, belly bug, respiratory infection, ear infection, and a SERIOUS case of “mama be tired!”

Today alone I have disinfected most of my house, scrubbed furniture, washed loads of clothes and blankets, and made chicken soup! The meal will be refreshing to the sick and afflicted, and I’m going to enjoy warming my hands with the steaming bowl of homemade soup. This mama is tired.

Parenting three boys from ages 7 to 13 is interesting enough on its own. Bring some sickness into the mix, and we find out really quick who is going to grow up and give a spouse some grief with “man flu” issues! (I pity the poor, future victims)

Let tomorrow bring with it; health, happiness, peace, and better smelling rooms in my home!

Goodnight World… and remember to enjoy the little things! #hugs

When It Storms

There is something to be said about a good, strong thunderstorm. I love them! For me, the storm gives me peace. I feel comforted by Mother Nature when the wind picks up and the rain starts to make its way across the field to my yard. I love watching it, anticipating the first drops before they fall on my upturned face. The wind embraces me, sometimes gently and comforting, and sometimes with a strength I needed but couldn’t pick up on my own. The flash of the lightning sparks an energy in my soul. The thunder soothes my spirit when it rolls in the distance, and it excites my spirit when it cracks, loud and strong, just over head.

The storms in our lives do not bring peace. Our life storms sometimes come at us with a vengeance, raging in fast and suddenly, leaving us broken and desolate when they are finished. Sometimes they come in gradually, giving us fair warning before drowning us in the flood and leaving us heavy with the weight of the heavy rains.

This year, in the month of June, we had so many storms. Beautiful storms! High winds, some hail, thunder that shook the very soul, lightning that lit up the sky as far as the eye could see, and sheets of rain flowing like waves across the fields. They soothed my soul. The trees did a dance, taking on a life of their own under the music of the strong winds. The rain was like a song, comforting and calming. They were perfect storms. Little did I know they would have to hold me over for my own storms that would come the following month.

July was the month of my personal storms. It was also the month when very few natural storms came to comfort me. But, they did come at the right times, thankfully.

Some storms came in gradually, tormenting me with their approach. I felt helpless to get out of the way, and they poured on me sickness, sorrow, disappointment, pain, and rage. Others hit me suddenly and without warning, like a tornado dropping from a clear sky, rocking my world and leaving me completely destroyed inside.

Yes, storms are beautiful. They clear away things that are cluttering our lives, and they cleanse us with the floods, so we can emerge from them and rise as a new person. But, they are a beautiful disaster. They are not meant to be gentle. They hurt. They break away the things that we have carried for too long, and they blow us over, knocking us down to crack open the hard shell we didn’t even know was covering our soul gradually, over time. It hurts. It really hurts to be put through a storm. Sometimes storms blow away friends and people in our lives whom we believed were going to stand by us in even the strongest winds.

Storms don’t define us. They refine us. Storms are going to come. There is no way to stop them. It is what we do with ourselves when the storm comes, and when it passes, that defines us. Some storms will break us. I have often thought I would never repair myself from the damage of a life-storm. But the beauty in the disaster is when we allow the storm to blow away the rubble, wash away the dirt and grime, and stand firm, cleansed and free. Raise your hands and face to welcome the rain. Open your arms for the embrace of the wind. Let the thunder shake off the crud from your heart and soul. Bask in the energy of the lightning. And, when the storm is over, breathe in the fresh air. If you were knocked over, stand up. If you were still standing, take your first step. Be it good, or bad, there is just something about a storm.

Now, the next storm that Mother Nature brings your way, take some pictures, record some video, and feel the cleanse that the earth is receiving. And when you have a life-storm come, you can look at those memories of nature’s finest and hold on, because you will be as the earth when it passes. Cleansed, refreshed, and more beautiful than ever.