Back to School Blues

The staying up late and sleeping in days of summer are over. Everywhere, families with children are battling the bittersweet beginning of......school days! Combined with the disappointment over new bedtime hours, strict schedules, and (shudders) homework, there is also a sense of excitement in the air. New grades, new teachers, and new adventures await this year! Everything from academics to sports, and all things in between, the school year is something that no parent or child can elude. Some parents worry about their children's school year this year, and some are zipping right along like this is second nature to breathing. I am fairly certain the teachers spent their final days before school began wondering what this year holds for them. New students, new personalities entering their classrooms, and new challenges and adventures to experience over the next 9 months of their lives. Parents likely wondered about their children's upcoming year as well. How will my child's teacher be with the kids? Will my child be successful, or will we struggle? And if you think you are battling with conflicting thoughts about the upcoming school year, just imagine what is going through the minds of the children!

And the children's thoughts? Do we, as parents, think that we know what is on their minds? If you do not know, I encourage you to communicate with your children and find out. I can assure you, it will be enlightening, and, quite possibly, entertaining. I have a child who loves to exaggerate, and I'm sure I have a future entertainer on my hands with him. He is seven years old, and the following scenario is how he interprets the beginning of the school year to me.

Standing in the kitchen, I am chopping vegetables for our supper. Today is Friday, and the end of the first week of school for the boys. It's been a long week for everyone in my home, and this Friday night I planned to sit back and relax with the family...as soon as I finished cooking for them.

Levi, my seven year old son, walks into the kitchen, head down, shoulders slumped, and obviously frustrated by the look in his face.

“Mom! Why do we have to start school again?! I don't like school!” He said, scowling and crossing his arms over his chest firmly. I sighed, put the knife and bell peppers to the side, and turned to my child, who had the puckered look of someone who had just sucked on a lemon. I could not wait to get to the bottom of this one, though. Levi is known around my family for his unique spin on reality.

“Why do you not like school, Levi?”

“Because, we have to get up before the sun wakes up, and we have to go to bed before the sun does. We are there ALL DAY”, he said as he spread his hands to emphasize time length. “My butt hurts from sitting all day long on my chair in class. I can already read. Isn't that enough? It takes HOURS to get to school and back home every day, and my math problems and answers keep changing themselves after I write them down! It's not fair, Mom. I always get “F's” for my math grade because my math problems change after I answer them! I just can't do this anymore!” After his elaborate finish with the math problems, Levi crossed his arms again with another scowl and a “humph” and turned around and stomped 'softly' right out of the kitchen, leaving me staring after him.

Oh yes, I smiled. I started to chuckle a little too, after I knew he was out of earshot. We handled the issue, to a degree, later on. But the moment was very enlightening to me. It was in that moment that I experienced a deeper understanding of effective communication and “listening” to my child when he is communicating with me, verbally and non-verbally. My son was so angry with his words, but he had a mischievous gleam in his sparkling, blue eyes the whole conversation. It was adorable. However, there is a bit of truth to my son’s exaggerated tale. He does struggle with some aspects of school, and we are hard pressed to find solutions so that he can enjoy his learning experiences, and become successful now and in the future.

This brings to mind a question. What do our children need to succeed? They need us. And how can we help them? With the proper tools. Those tools are: Our eyes; to notice when things change and when our children need help. Our ears; to hear their joys and their struggles. Our voice; to support and encourage them in all they desire and do. Our understanding; to know what they are saying without their words.

If nothing else, remember to lead by example. Our children are extensions of ourselves. We can teach respect by giving it. We can do more than hear, we can listen. We can do more than speak, we can communicate. We can do more than acknowledge, we can understand.

The keys to success lie within ourselves, and we can help the younger generation find their inner keys, and watch as they unlock their potential with education we and their teachers provide them. So here’s to another great year for all families, and to the success of the children as they advance in another chapter of their lives! Cheers!