Tired

Tired: Wrung out, worn out, exhausted, done in, POOPED, burnout, finished. These are all words that have described me in the past, both distant and recent. Have these words ever described you? Do they now?

There’s a song that my mother once told me reminds her of me every time she hears it. The song, Worn, by Tenth Avenue North, is a good song. It has a message that speaks to a lot of people, because so many of us today can relate to the feelings and emotions described in the lyrics. I had heard it before, yes, but I truly listened to it one day after she said that, and it really did describe me…from beginning to end! But this blog isn’t about being tired…it’s about coming to LIFE!

You’ve heard the phrase “when you’re at the bottom the only place to look is up” right? Well, in part this is true…however there are so many who continue to look down, and just keep digging. (Yeah, I know you just said that in the Dory “Just keep swimming” tune…don’t lie). Yes. We have periods of time in our lives when we are tired, worn, and at the end of our rope…perhaps even losing our grip of that knot that seems to be slipping and fraying at the end: the only thing left we think we have to hold onto. But here’s the good news! It’s not!

Take this song, Worn, for example. Upon hearing it all for the first time, I decided this was a very accurate description of me, and therefore dubbed it my theme-song. It was true. I was tired. I had been at the bottom, trying to look up. Emotions a wreck, unstable moods, physically failing, having one illness or another from the stress I was enduring and falling under.

After a while of enjoying my new theme song I realized something. I was staying in this state of mind, and not moving forward or upward! I woke up every day expecting to be worn. I went to bed every night expecting the same. I just KNEW I wouldn’t get sleep, and therefore I didn’t. I just KNEW my day would be full of stress, and therefore it was. I would ask myself several times a week, “What am I doing wrong?!” And then it hit me, like a brick! (visualize that one!) Of course I was tired! I had spent too many days entertaining the people and things that brought me down, pulled me down, and put me down. I couldn’t be lifted up because I was still digging down. It was time to make a change!

And change I did. Eliminated those things which did nothing but destroy peace, bring drama and discontent, and filled my home with positive things. Happy music, happy activities, and happy moments make a happy family. There has been a noticeable change in myself, my children, and everything, and I am enjoying every minute of it! …well, almost every moment. (She says as she recalls dealing with children using all types of furniture as trampolines and landing pads, dogs who use freshly planted flowers as chew toys and find just as many ways to get into things as the boys do. Maybe even recalling the events of underwear on heads (no adults involved), potty training accidents that are social media worthy of sharing, and of course we cannot forget the famous “Becca Moments” that seem to occur a bit more often than before…*sigh*)

Oh but I am ALIVE! I dance in my house at random, just because I feel so good! Even on a bad day! I didn’t get here all in one day…not even in the first full week. I am still getting there, really. I take a step back now and then, but the joy in this is knowing that, for me, it’s kind of like a dance…”step forward, step backward. Step forward, step backward!” (Sesame Street dance…yep!) I know it’s not easily done, believe me I know! Sometimes the things that are harder to get to are the things that are the most rewarding…and I think peace and rest are quite rewarding, personally.

So…Dance in the rain! Count your rainbows! Sing in the shower! Give yourself a pat on the back every now and then! Cook a dessert (COBBLER!!!) and eat the whole thing *advising not all at once*! Breathe deeply, and smile! When the children break a dish, spill liquid all over the floor or furniture, accidently potty all over the freshly cleaned bathroom floor (or out in the new landscaping in the back yard), or when there is little sleep because someone is sick, maybe you just feel overwhelmed because all the little things happened at the same time…Look up! Don’t keep digging! Go ahead and listen to my old theme song…it does help. I have recently altered the song for myself…just when I need to raise up above the tiredness. What is your song?

Original Chorus:

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

My Chorus:

You’ve let me see redemption win!

And I now I know the struggle ends!

You’ve mended my heart that was frail and torn!

I am that song that can rise

From the ashes of a broken life!

And all that was dead inside has been reborn!

All that’s dead inside has been reborn!