The Other Side of Love

Love is a funny thing.

Romantic love can send people into situations that make them appear as fools. Childlike love gives and gives and gives, and feeds off the return. The love of a parent gives and gives and gives, and doesn’t get a return in the same fashion it was given…but the parent doesn’t expect such a return, and any reflection of their giving is enough, especially when it shines from the joyful eyes of their child. But love isn’t always rainbows and flowers. Love can carry a person through hard times, lift the spirit of the fallen, and be a solace and comfort to the lonely. Love is definitely powerful and amazing. But love goes so much farther, and sometimes we don’t like where it takes us.

Sometimes love hurts, and sometimes it hurts to love.

When does love hurt? In speaking of the love that hurts, we are talking about being on the receiving end. There is this thing called “tough love” and it’s not a pleasant experience. It’s definitely a deeper level of love that most people don’t understand, and none enjoy, when they are given a dose of it. When we want something badly and are told “No”, or “Not now.” And I’m not speaking of just some general want. No, I’m talking about the deep desire for something. When did we ask for these: Healing of sickness, whether for ourselves or someone close to us, escape from a certain trial or battle we are facing in life, or maybe just to have someone…and to not be alone. There’s a song I’ve heard on the radio, by Laura Story that sums up “when love hurts” quite well…

“What if your blessings come through rain drops? What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near? And what if trials of this life… are your mercies in disguise?”

Now that we have walked through some painful love experiences together, and have a better understanding of when love hurts, let me take you to the giving side…when it hurts to love.

When does it hurt to love? I want to take you down a road with me that isn’t the best story in the world, but has a lesson in love, and how it changes us. My husband has a daughter from his previous marriage, and three years ago she came to live with us. For the majority of this time I discovered that step-parenting is NOT the same as blood parenting. So much is different. Thanks to a lot of prayer and support and LOVE from others, we overcame a lot of our struggles that step relationships battle with. In that time I cried tears of anger, hurt, frustration, confusion, sadness, and some of joy and happiness as well. Sadly, on February 1, 2014, I and my husband held each other tight at the Los Angeles airport security gate and cried together tears of sorrow and pain, as we watched her, through the fog of tears, walk away from us to live with her mother in another country. We do not know when we will see her in person again, and letting go was excruciating beyond what either of us thought. But because we LOVE her, we let her go…because this was what was best for her. It hurts sometimes, to love, because we have to put away what we want and what they want, and do what is BEST. These decisions are NOT easy, and some hurt more than others, while some don’t hurt at all.

I am finishing with a story familiar to us all. Mary Poppins was packing her bag to leave the Banks household when Michael Banks asks her, and I am paraphrasing, “Why are you leaving us? Can’t you stay? Don’t you love us?” and Mary Poppins’ reply…”Now Michael. What would happen if I loved all the children I said goodbye to?”

At first I didn’t know how to take this question in the movie, and for the longest time I thought she was a heartless, empty, statue of a woman for this statement. Then it hit me…just what would happen if she loved all the children she said goodbye to? What would it do to us, really, if we entered a situation that brought us to love someone, then have to part with them? Well, it would hurt! Right? Yes, it sure would. But we didn’t “lose” anyone in this…but we just gained something. A deeper part of ourselves. A part that would not be revealed had we not gone through a trial, come to love someone, make a decision that broke hearts and weighed heavy on the spirit. Yes, there will be sleepless nights, days when joining the rest of the living population just doesn’t appeal to us, and hours and hours of that deep pain, and the void down within that leaves us hollow and writhing (whether physically or spiritually), demanding to know WHY! And do we really know why? Because we love. Love…

But love is a funny thing…

This week a dear friend of mine experienced a very similar circumstance, and I will say that I battled with this blog for days before I even knew what was happening in her world…but she wrote a beautiful thing that inspired me to finish this blog post. I have her to thank for the inspiration to continue. <3 She spoke of peace…that peace that passes ALL understanding. And that made me think…where does that peace come from? LOVE!

Just a New Year's Eve blurb or two...

With the passing of each year comes the sitting and reflecting on the things that have happened in the current year. Life changes, the good, the bad, the happy and sad, the big, and the small things that we have taken note of throughout the year since January 1 until today, December 31. Every year, the event is quite similar, all over the world, as the clock counts down to the last minute of the year we are currently in, and turns over the new hour of the new day in the New Year. Some may share the “New Year Kiss” while some may be out partying it up and not even remember the midnight hour. There will be confetti tossed in some homes, champagne glasses toasting and cheering in the New Year, some celebrating with family and friends, and maybe some just sitting quietly… alone.

We’ve all set some goals, if not on paper, at least in our minds. It doesn’t matter if it has been said “I won’t make any resolutions this year” because the mind has already thought of something that we will not let be the same in the coming year.

Facebook has been the number one social networking trend for a few years now, and as I scroll through my Newsfeed today I see a lot of people posting their thoughts about 2013. There are a lot who have said that 2013 was not good to them. A lot have said 2013 was good to them. I remember early in the year when one friend had a situation hit them they already wrote off the whole year as a failure, wishing it away even, and wanting to be hidden away until the year came to its end. Of course, this brought me to my pondering moment.

Yes, we measure time by years, months, weeks, and days. But it seems that the Year is the ultimate time ruler when weighing life circumstances and situations. “I have a bunch of things I want to change…starting January 1!” “But it’s October 3…why not start now?” “Because, silly! I need to make changes FOR the New Year, not BEFORE the New Year.” I have found myself thinking that same thing as the year came closer to an end…aaahhh why not just wait until January? How about this…

Every day is a new day. Every hour a new hour. When a child is being punished with “Time out” for five minutes, at the end of that time is a fresh start for another chance at NOT making that same mistake again…we don’t wait until next year to let them off the hook! No! We end the session with the understanding that “you did your crime, you did your time.” And the rest of the day continues with new starts…in the middle of the day!! Yes! It’s possible!

I recently thought of a change I wanted to make, “in January” and literally sat there and stared at the paper I was writing on and said, “Really, Becca? Really?! Why not just pick up that change now, and have it established BY January 1?” That MIGHT just work! *gasp*

So, as we end one year and begin another, all in a single moment’s time, let us remember with a certainty that we WILL leave off a few things here and there. That’s ok. Life is going to happen. Unexpected events, and changes are going to interrupt routines and schedules. That’s fine. Just pick up and continue at the earliest possible time afterwards. Even if the end of the year is when a change can be made, go ahead and make it! Don’t wait till the next year. WE are not even promised tomorrow, let alone another January 1. We all want to see some changes in our lives, some big and some small, and I encourage everyone to do it…and do it now. Yeah, the new year starts tomorrow, but that’s ok. Think of something you talked about on January 1 of THIS YEAR, and set it to task. Don’t be discouraged. Find the life in it. The humor. The fun, and adventure! We’ve waited all year to make that change, and as the old comic that we all find so funny goes, “It’s December 31, I guess I best get started.”

Happy December 31 2013!

A Passion Most Pure Book Review

Before I begin this review, let me say I have written and re-written it more than a few times. Julie Lessman is not only an amazing writer, who brings her characters to LIFE, and creates scenarios where the reader can enter this world of the O’Conner family and RELATE to their family, individually, and the situations that they face, but Julie is a shining light in my own life. She is a friend, mentor, and quite often (every time we talk, email, or see each other) is a source of wisdom and joy for me. LOVE LOVE LOVE this woman!! And now, on to my attempt to write a review that I hope reflects the amazingness of Julie’s first book: A Passion Most Pure…

Passion: the word itself stirs a controversy of emotion and reaction at the mere telling of it. But a Passion Most Pure? What does this mean? In this debut book by Julie Lessman, we will soon find out!

Passion(a): An undying love for God, devotion, faithfulness, and a continual thirst for more knowledge and a deeper relationship with Him. Faith O’Conner shines brightly with Passion. Her desire to please her Savior trumps all other desires she may have, no matter how strong they become. Faith’s heart lies in the balance between her love for God and her love for a man, and when her entire world crumbles around her, Faith has to face the darkest places of her own heart.

Passion(b): A zeal for life, and the desire to live every moment of it with all of one’s being. Love things, adventure, lust, and a strong pull to the things that one cannot have. Collin McGuire emanates such passion. In his desire to live life at the fullest, and take all pleasures in doing so, Colin encounters a new kind of passion, one that he doesn’t understand.

There is a quote from the movie, White Christmas that says, “Lord, help the mister who comes between me and my sister, and Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man!” And the same can be said of the two oldest O’Conner sisters, Faith and Charity.

The O’Conner family is a fantastic example of strength, unity, happiness, and even sibling love…well, except when one of the children tends to reach out and taint every joy that another only begins to experience. Faith O’Conner and her younger sister, Charity, seem to have this instance in life at every turn. Given the opportunity, Charity would take pleasure in robbing Faith of any happiness that comes her way. While Faith believes she has strength to overcome her battles as they come, there is one battle that may prove to be bigger than she can handle…on her own.

When war takes its toll on families all over the world, and the claws of tragedy pierce the very heart of the O’Conner family itself, and when Faith’s sister, Charity, commits the ultimate betrayal, Faith goes on a journey that may change her forever.

Collin believed himself to be in complete control, even of the women he entertained. And then he encountered Charity…and Faith…O’Conner. Torn between the passion of his flesh and the passion in his heart, Collin took refuge in the battlefields far from the two women who frequented his mind daily. When faced with his own demise, Collin opened himself to a new passion…a passion he feared, and then embraced, that would be the start of a whole new world for him and his woman by his side…but which one?

A blog from two years ago. August of 2011...from my previous blog. HAD to keep it and share here!

Sequoia National Forest Trip

Just recently my parents and younger sisters came to California for their vacation to visit me and my little family here in Hanford. During their vacation time we all wanted to do some sight-seeing, and play the tourist in our new state of residence. One place in particular that we chose to enjoy was the Sequoia National Park.

Our day in the Sequoia National Park began a little rough. We made it through the front gate and to the first visitor’s center just in time to hear that the roads in the mountains were under construction and the crews only opened them for people to pass through on the hour every hour. The ranger told us it would take about thirty minutes to get to the pass where the construction began, and it was 12:25pm. So, we all piled in our cars and took off for the roads under construction.

We drove up the mountain through winding curves and switchback turns that were enough to churn stomachs, which they did. We made it to the construction and had a few minutes to get out and stretch our legs, get some air, and let the carsick children toss their cookies (lol).

Traffic began to move, so we rushed to get the kids back in the cars and resume our place in line so we could get through. The construction seemed to go on forever. My excitement about the big trees was gradually being drowned out by the grumbling and whimpering of three restless children in the backseat of my minivan. Sean, dear Sean, kept me sane as we made each turn, climbing switchback, stop, and slow drive through construction that revealed a very steep edge of the mountain, and rattled my nerves every time I glanced down over it.

The road finally began to level out a bit as the trees became taller and thicker, and soon, after one last turn, we arrived.

Sean and I were carrying on conversation when we rounded the turn, and at that moment time seemed to slow, words failed me as did my breathing! I turned my head and cocked it sideways, looking out the top of my windshield, in an attempt to see the tops of these massive trees, and ended up rolling my window down to accomplish the attempt. As I sat in complete awe of the sight before me, I tried to form words in my mind to describe these majestic and enormous Sequoia trees. None seemed to do them justice.

Finally, the road was not winding, churning our stomachs anymore, and we were driving deep into the shadows of one of the most amazing forests I’ve ever seen in my life. As we drove further, the trees got even bigger, and we passed a sign that read, “You are now entering the Giant Forest.” Really?! Haha!

From that point on our day got only better. We had rock-climbing moments, tree-gawking moments, random photo-shoot moments, and racing moments which left us (at least Sean, Leah and myself) quite winded.

We all hiked, minus Joanna and Micah, up Moro Rock. Moro rock is the bald tip of one of the mountains in the forest, and it was a 350ft/400stair climb from the parking lot to the top of the rock, with metal rails to hold onto and keep people from falling off the smooth edges of the rocky surface. At the beginning of the climb was a sign that read, “To avoid being struck by lightning and killed, leave Moro rock and return to the lower trail immediately if any of the following occur: The sky becomes dark or clouds suddenly appear; you hear thunder in the distance or nearby; you feel static in the air; you get a metallic taste in your mouth.” OK!

We continue the climb up this rock and I decide to break the monotony and try to reason with myself about why we are actually ascending this stony mountaintop! So, I begin to talk…”Mom, I have a question. What Moron a hundred years ago, as he was hiking through the mountains, stumbles across this huge rock protruding from this mountaintop, says to himself, “Hey! I bet there are millions of other people out there who would love to experience what I am experiencing right now! Let’s make some stairs to the top of this rock so they can all come to the middle of nowhere and risk being struck by lightning to climb 400 stone stairs and be where I am right now!” I could hear chuckles and laughter around me and realized I was actually entertaining other tourists with my sarcasm.

When we reached the top I didn’t eat my words, but I did have a hard time finding new ones! The view was nothing short of amazing! We were higher than other nearby mountaintops, and had a crystal clear view of everything below. We saw the roads we traveled on, including the stopped traffic as other waited on the construction sites to open again, and the river at the bottom in the valley looked like a white ribbon flowing through the trees winding and twisting like is was blowing in the wind.

Driving through the Giant Forest, actually touching the magnificent, towering trees, climbing the mountains and taking in the sights of a part of our world untouched by man’s hand, all of these things caused me to stop and think…

“The heavens declare the glory of God…”

How thankful I am that in my life, when I am tired, stressed, upset, sad, lonely, unwell, I can recall the day I came close to my God, witnessed a small portion, a touch, of His majesty in the graceful giants that cover the mountaintop, and His glory in the vast beauty of the view from that mountaintop! The peace there was what many people long to feel down here in the hustle and bustle of life, and yet it is a part of nature there. I am so glad I got to experience another fingerprint of God that day.

The Centurian's Wife...another awesome read!

The Centurion's Wife

Leah has lost everything. Her family was disgraced, loved ones lost, and her own freedom was stripped from her in more ways than one. Pilot is her cousin, and takes her into his household in hopes that marriage to the right man will save her from her family’s disgrace. Her mistress, Pilot’s wife, is plagued by nightmares of this Jewish prophet her husband had crucified and sends Leah on a quest to find the answers to the great mystery surrounding this dead man and the sudden rumors rising that the impossible has happened. Leah finds and befriends the followers of Jesus, and in the search for her mistress’ answers begins to find some of her own…

Alban has known battle and loss in life as well as the battlefields. He aspires to rise above his situation and sees marriage to Leah, the cousin of Pilot, as an asset to his ambition. In response to his request, his prelate requires something of Alban before such union is granted. Pilot fears rebellion among the Jews, and sends Alban to reveal any such threat, and to uncover the mystery surrounding the disappearance of the body of Jesus. The truth is what he seeks, but is it something he can handle?

Bound together by betrothal, drawn together by love, and completed together in Christ Alban and Leah discover the truths they were to sent to find, Truth that changed their world, revelations that changed their lives, and could possibly bring their eventual demise.

I have always loved the books written by Janette Oke and Davis Bunn. This series, Acts of Faith, is the most recent and very moving! I highly recommend this to you all. Set in Jerusalem during Passover, their descriptions of the city, and life there are vivid and bring to life the days of Jesus, and the Roman dominance in Judea during those years. Great book! Can’t say it enough!

The Silent Governess...worth re-reading!

The Silent Governess Book Review

Olivia Keene and Lord Bradley have nothing in common, save one thing: they both hold a secret that could change everything as they know it, if this secret is revealed. In fear of losing all he has ever known, Lord Bradley kept Olivia close at hand at Brightwell Court, where she served his young niece and nephew as governess, and a recent injury rendering her temporarily mute served useful to his purpose. It would seem though that theirs is not the only knowledge of the secret, and as deception, lies, and life-threatening events unfold, Olivia and Lord Bradley find themselves in a world much smaller than they imagined, and the danger closer to home than they feared.

In the midst of the drama, Lord Bradley finds himself taken with the charming Olivia Keene, and his emotions conflict greatly between affection and suspicion. Will Lord Bradley believe his heart, or will he let suspicion dominate and risk breaking hearts and losing love? Will the truth be revealed before it is too late?

Trying to predict the ending of this book is futile, as there are many surprises at every turn from beginning to end. A story well written, The Silent Governess took me into the world of Lords and Ladies, with characters that came to life from the pages. I can’t wait to read the next one!

This book was sent to me by Bethany House Publishing for the purpose of review and can be found at most bookstores.

Songs of Deliverance...a good book!

Songs of Deliverance Review

Everyone has a past. Not everyone can see beyond someone’s past and accept them for who they are in the present. And, not many can break through their own past and have the courage to step out and believe in themselves, and others, again for a long, long time. Such is the obstacle that stands in the way of Zeely’s victory, deliverance, and peace. Not only Zeely, but her friend Grace, and others that have come together to support the teacher they all had in their youth that saw beyond their faults into their futures, and believed in them when no one else did. At the knowledge of Joyce’s illness, her students, now grown, have returned home to her, and found themselves opening the doors to their pasts that have been long since shut and locked. Will Zeely, Grace, and the others be able to overcome their pasts, stabilize their present, and redefine their futures? Can they find the strength to trust and love again? Will the wounds that have been opened and reopened ever heal? For so long the song of despair and pain has played loudly in their ears, but the faint sound of a Song of Deliverance has begun to grow in volume. Will it be tuned out and rejected, or will it be the new song of delivered hearts?

Marilynn Griffith astounded me with her book! This one touched me deeply though, because I can personally relate to some of the issues mentioned in the book. The situations are real ones that people deal with in this day and time. The characters seemed so real to me, like my own friends! Good book, great read, and recommended by me! *smiles*

This book was provided by Revell Publishing for the purpose of review, and is available at your local Christian bookstore now.