Mother's Day and Me

“I don’t know how you do it!” Is often a phrase I hear from people, when asked how my life has been lately. Well, I’m not going to lie. I tell them how it is, what’s been going on, and give them MOST of the updates they are asking for. And if I were to guess, my response is probably not very different from most other moms out there in this generation, “Honestly, I don’t know how I do it either.”

And how do I do it? First, I wake up in the morning, groggy as all get out, because someone was up in the night sick, had nightmares, or just wanted that last chance at sneaking into the kitchen for a drink of water. Oh, and then there’s the kids’ issues too. Then, I round up the troops (or three musketeers) to get them out the door for school. Once they are safely deposited there, I return home to clean, take care of the four-legged kids, and catch up on other chores (bills, Dr. appts, other business phone calls, etc). At the end of the school day I fetch the minions from their place of education and either return home or go on to other destinations. Grocery shopping is often done while they are at school, because who wants to take three boys into the store?! “Mom! I want this! Can I have that? Mom, when can we leave? Oh! Look! A fidget spinner!” Yeah…no.

Don’t forget the seasonal sports! Practices, picture day, games, team events, etc. Thankfully, this year, I have only had one child engaged in a sport per season. Whew!

Video games and computers are often my live-in nanny for shower time, cooking dinner, folding laundry, cleaning out the car, or just hiding in the bathroom (don’t shake your head, you do it too Mom) just to BREATHE.

Then, there’s feeding an army of boys. Boy-moms…you know what I’m talking about! My oldest, Titus, is 11. He’s literally shot up at least 6 inches in the past 2 months, and will be taller than my 5ft7in self before his 12^th birthday! He is slightly selective in his eating, but neither of his younger brothers (Levi -9, Micah -6) have that problem. So, keeping food in my house is almost as strenuous as keeping it clean! I live in the dungeon of dirty socks, underwear, wet shoes, muddy, ripped jeans and shirts, and Nerf bullets everywhere! Half the time, when I walk into my house the lights are all out. When I open the front door, I might hear, “Mom! Close the door! Micah will see my location!” Then I might trip and stumble over blockades and boundary lines from my front door to my bedroom, where I escape from possible, friendly fire.

Oh, don’t worry. I haven’t strayed away from my “this is my day, every day” story. This is really it. Every day. So, let’s move on to supper.

My house is frequently filled with people who are not my biological children, but I claim them… sometimes. They aren’t even “children” per-say. But, they’re all my kids, so it seems. So, I literally do feed an army in my house quite often. I make sure food is done, and that my children (that I gave birth to) are fed first, then the rest come in and scavenge the remains of what has been cooked. Some nights we have a bonfire in the fire pit outside. Some nights we settle in front of a movie. There have also been nights when the Nerf Wars take over the house, and I hide in my bedroom to survive. Some nights the family doesn’t get to dinner until a tad later than planned, and everyone eats and goes to bed. *Sigh* There are times I reflect on my world and wonder if I’m a mom, or a zoo-keeper.

Bath time is often a battle between myself and my little men. Like many boys, they do not see the need for DAILY bathing, and try to get out of such a ghastly chore. From manipulation to downright begging, and finally to mommy giving in to let them play in the tub... Hey, as long as they clean it out, I win! Booyah! 

Once we have gone through our day, from waking groggy to collapsing into bed the same way, I do my best to fall asleep before I remember something I missed, and then wake to tackle the next day all over again.

Now, I haven’t even got to the fun part yet. In 95% of my parenting life, I have done this either working a full-time job, going to school full time, or BOTH. So, there’s a work schedule and school assignments to fit in there… Somewhere. I have also managed to maintain a chuck of this parenting life as a single mother as well.

In some ways, I am tooting my own horn, so to speak. And with good reason. There have been many days and nights I have sat in my bed, or on the bench on my porch, wondering if I’m really doing this right. Am I a good mother? Do I spend enough time with my kids? Am I raising children who will be successful in life? Have I made too many mistakes today? Did I handle this situation, or that, as I should have? I believe I stress myself out more than I should over my role as a mother. But, as a mother, I cannot help myself. I am not raising me, my mother did that QUITE WELL. I am raising three boys. I want them to be the best that they can be, and there are times I feel like I am failing them in that aspect. I know better, but deep inside, I will always want to make sure I am doing the best for them.

In doing what is best for my children, I often make decisions that don’t result in happy faces, but that’s okay. I put myself aside for them, and I do it willingly. But, I do it too much. Is that selfish of me to say? As I type this, I believe so, but I know in my heart that it isn’t. Why? Because if we, mothers, forget ourselves, we will lose our children. Remember that. Take care of you. Stay healthy; physically, mentally, emotionally, and your kids will be better for it. I don’t get “me time” enough, and most of the time I’m okay with that. I shouldn’t be. I need to take my own advice, and set aside some time for ME. Doing something that helps me relax and enjoy myself away from it all. Because I stay healthy that way, and I am at my best. And, when I am at my best, my children are better off.

Now, I’m off to do my daily thing!